Dr. Heather,
I caught my 6 year old son masturbating. I believe this is normal behavior, but I have concerns which may or may not be off the mark. His male kindergarten teacher was a little too “hands-on” for me so I asked to have him put into a new class. After I found out my son still had some contact with the man, I took him out of the school completely.

My husband felt I was being paranoid, until I told him my older son (by my first husband) was molested by our neighbor. That was nearly fifteen years ago, and I’m proud to say that my eldest son is doing great and actually studying to become a social worker.

The question is not about whether his masturbation is due in part to any sexual abuse, but how do I tackle this with my soon-to-be first grader? I read another of your responses that basically said ‘Just Do It!’ But I’m not sure of WHAT I should be doing. In other words, is this the time for the “birds & bees” or the “do’s & dont’s” or should I just ignore it and keep an eye out for any negative progression?

“Hello Honey, it’s time to meet The Birds & The Bees!” That’s a good way to start. Absolutely DO NOT ignore it! This is the perfect time to dive rite in and Just Do It as I often say! Also it’s ok to talk to your son about who shouldn’t be touching him. Please use this window of opportunity of which you have been presented with to talk about it ALL.

One more thing, most times mothers have the correct feelings about things that seem shady to them regarding their children but often don’t act on that intuition. It’s safe to inquire and ask those questions, even connecting with other parents of children in that class could help you gain more clarity on that teacher & his techniques.

Hope this helped & Goodluck!!

Live, Love, Laugh Always!…
Dr. Heather, RMFT CST