Hi Dr. Heather,
My question is not really about sex, but it kinda is!

  Though, I don’t consider myself a “victim” of sexual abuse, I absolutely “experimented” with my older brother’s friends a few times. By older, I mean they were in high school and I was in junior high. It was never anything more than kissing, grinding, and groping. Plus, I enjoyed it. There was never any “real” sex.

I began therapy for anger management in January and ended up discussing this with my therapist back then. Now, six months later, she has referred to me as a “victim of sexual abuse.” I thought she was confused and asked her what the heck she was talking about. When she tried to say that I “was victimized” by my brother’s friends, I snapped. So much for managing my anger, huh? The point is that I don’t think I should be labeled as a “victim” of anything if I don’t think I am one.  Am I right, or am I in some sort of denial?

Hello! Well I certainly can understand why you don’t believe you were a “victim” but I have to agree: You were absolutely a “victim” because you were a child.  “Experimenting” with kids your own age is something that would have pushed you out of the “victim” bracket. Sorry 🙁
Now, the fact that you enjoyed it just makes you a normal young lady with hormones that you were beginning to discover. 🙂

It’s important to know that you don’t have to feel like you were a “victim” to have been one. I don’t think you’re in denial; I just know you are not feeling victimized which is ok. But having the proper knowledge about what happened in the past as an adult will definitely help to shape your intimate future. Good Luck with managing the anger.

Dr. Heather, RMFT CST